Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
I can understand and feel what you are going through. Trust me. I know. I have been through the same situation last December. And I can totally feel you. Let me start by saying that, since you are here already I am telling you that you are a very very strong person. In fact, you are incredibly strong. And that is because of the fact that not everyone has the willpower to unlove someone. This question of how to unlove someone is something a strong person could ask. I am sending you a virtual bear hug and you have got this. You will get through this. And you will come out shining on the other end of the tunnel.
How to unlove someone – Tip 1 – Distance yourself as much as you can and as long as you can
When the person has hurt you and you did not get what you wanted to get out of the relationship, please distance yourself. I know it is hard. But I have done it. And if I can then you can do it too. You will have to find ways to distance yourself as much as you can from the person. So that you do not see the person, you do not talk with the person, you do not interact with the person. That way you will be able to distance yourself.
And also make sure that you maintain that distance for as long as you can. Do whatever you have to do to ensure that, the distance is maintained. If you have to fight it out then do so, but make sure the distance remains as much as you can and as long as you can. That will give you solace and you will be able to unlove someone.
How to unlove someone – Tip 2 – Remove any visual media of them from social, common family groups etc
Remember, Out of Sight is Out of Mind. Avoid seeing the person by any means. Be it online or offline. Or even on social media. Remove them from all your social media accounts so neither of you has access to one another. If you do not want to block them, then make every effort to unfriend and unfollow them so you do not have to see their posts in your newsfeed. And also avoid speaking, chatting, seeing the person. If they try to reach out to you, then make sure that you are not reachable to them.
Say things to them to show them that you are a bad person and no matter how hard they are so that the other person will stop reaching out to you. That way you will have some mental peace and it will be much easier for you to unlove the person you have loved before. Instead of thinking about the good times you have had, think of the horrible experience they have put you through. Think of the times they did not respect you. Think of the times, they did not make you important. Think of the times they used you. That will help you to remove the visual image that you might have of them as well.
How to unlove someone – Tip 3 – Spend time on yourself instead of thinking about them
When you are in love, you sometimes make changes in your life even if they do not notice. No matter if they do or not, those changes are in our heads. Without clear communication, you assume that maybe your partner likes this. And if you change this, then your partner would be accepting you more than he or she already is. But that is far from the truth. Always communicate and try to improve yourself when you are in love. When you are trying to unlove someone then do as it pleases you. Do not care what the world will think, do what you think is right. Do what makes you feel great. And more importantly, do something that will ensure that you are not thinking about them. Rather invest that time in doing something you love. Find someone else who will love you more than they ever did.
How to unlove someone – Tip 4 – Discard any thing that brings your memories of them back
Within the time you might have known that person, you must have preserved items that keep memories of them alive. Now is the time to get rid of all of those things. That will minimize how much you think of them. Remove all of them. Including but not limited to clothes, photos, gifts you have received everything. Trust me, give them to a charity and that would be much more beneficial for you. I have done this myself and it works wonders when you are trying to unlove someone.
How to unlove someone – Tip 5 – Dwell on the good from the situation so much that you forget the bad
When you really think about it, there is a blessing in every disappointment. Some of us would not have already discovered the amount of strength in us if we have not had such kind of a situation raised in our life. While you are at it, stop thinking about what is missing from your life. Think of the good things. Such as you no more have to tell the person to do something they will not do. Another example would be you now have fewer people to deal with. You no longer have to deal with that person or the family of that person anymore. Trust me that is a big relief. Essentially you now have less toxic people to deal with. And you can invest your energy and time with people who appreciate you and respect you to do everything that your previous partner was not doing.
Always remember, you do not need to show that you love someone. Your actions should tell them that you do. Even if you do not show it, one day they will know. And maybe by that time, you will be with them, maybe you will not be with them. But they will regret their decision of how they treated you and left you hanging when you needed them the most. When you needed them by your side at your lowest. And now since they did, stop pondering and start taking action. Remove them from your life as they did to you. A relationship is a two-way street. If they are okay with staying away and being without you, then make sure you show them how it is done.
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I am a 30-year-old dude from a lower-middle-class family hailing from a small village Narasinghpur in Cuttack, Odisha, INDIA. I have a post-graduate degree in M.Tech from BITS Pilani. I started blogging back in June 2014. You can check out my journey and all that I have learnt all these years on my website.